Past, Present and Future

One night, about a week after I first arrived in Zambia, I had a nightmare. I dreamt it was the end of my fellowship; the whole thing had flown by and I hadn’t decided anything about my future, hadn’t changed at all as a person. I awoke in a cold sweat, but the dread quickly turned to relief when I realized that was all a year away. It’s funny to see how that dream holds up to the reality that’s finally upon me. I actually don’t feel like I’ve changed much, but I do spend just about every day with myself so it can be hard to tell. I also haven’t reached any definite conclusions about my future or purpose in life. Somehow, though, the sense of failure I felt in my dream isn’t there. This year has felt so natural, exactly the right thing for me at this time, and, while I wish it could go on much longer, I’ll be glad to spend these last few weeks reflecting happily on my time with KF and PiAf.

Happiness comes easily these days with all the good things going on. In May, Sarah, one of my oldest college friends, stopped by for a visit on her way home from Cairo. To prove the pyramids have got nothing on our natural wonders, we struck out on a whirlwind tour of the country. Her first weekend we got drenched at Victoria Falls, swooned over baby elephants in Botswana, and floated into the sunset on the Zambezi. The next weekend we drove down to the Kafue River where we relaxed in natural hot springs, front row seats to a spectacular starscape overhead. It was wonderful to have her here; she fit perfectly into life in Lusaka and I hope she’s already planning her next trip.

(Excited about elephants)

With all the time I’ve been spending thinking about future plans and reflecting on the fellowship, I have to work to appreciate all the great things happening in the present. For example, this past weekend I went to Ndola, a nearby city, with a few friends to watch the Zambia national football team play their first game back on home turf after winning the Africa Cup in February. To make it more special, this was their first game at a recently completed state-of-the-art stadium funded by the Chinese government. The anticipation level was high for what was expected to be a challenging match against Ghana, out to avenge their AFCON semi-final exit at the hands of Chipolopolo. We were all pleasantly surprised by the weekend: great seats in a beautiful stadium, an organized and happy atmosphere to the whole event, and a spectacular showing by the Zambian team for the win. It reminded me what a great country this is and how I’m not ready to leave.

(Game time in Ndola)

Which brings me to my final point: the future. Ever since sometime in February, this topic has occupied an ever-increasing share of my brain activity. Looking for a job was somewhat overwhelming when I wasn’t sure what field I wanted to work in or even where I really wanted to be. I talked to many people here, got plenty of advice and considered it all carefully. In the end, an opportunity rose to the forefront which made a lot of sense for me. While it’s a bit premature (I haven’t yet signed the papers or received the work visa) I can say with confidence that in August I’ll be making the transition from education access to microfinance, working here in Lusaka with FINCA, an international MFI. I really look forward to learning much more about this area of development, which I’ve spent time studying and observing in the past. At some point, when the ink is dry, I’ll take some time to explain the position I’ll have, but suffice it to say it’s meant to be an intensive but instructive crash course in the field. Ultimately, I feel very lucky to have found an interesting position in a place that I love, close to friends and students who I care about very much.